Jokes On Marriage

Husband says: Don’t let the animal in me come out.
Wife replies: Who’s afraid of a mouse!

A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband…

“Miss” for first year & “Stress” for rest of the life…

Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married?
That was common sense leaving your body.

Position of a husband is just like a Split AC, No matter how loud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!

Man outside phone booth: “Excuse me you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven’t spoken a word”.
Man inside: “I am talking to my wife”

Always keep your spouse’s picture as mobile screen saver.
Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say: if I can handle this, I can handle anything

If wife wants husband’s attention, she just has to look sad & uncomfortable.
If husband wants wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.

A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage.. She said- “sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot”

Listening To your Wife…is like reading terms & conditions of a website.
You understand nothing but still click on “I AGREE”

Son: Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day!
Dad: What role are you playing?
Son: A husband!
Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!
Million Dollar Truth:

If Saturday and Sunday Don’t Excite You, then change your Friends.
If Monday doesn’t motivate you, then change your profession.
If Monday is too exciting, and you are dying to get to work then you should change your spouse!!

Generally a man does not go to the place again where he has been cheated once…

But many people still go to their in-laws place..?

Best one line ad by a married man on OLX For Sale –
Wedding Suit, used only once by Mistake……

The sweetest msg –
Husband to wife : You should learn to embrace your mistakes…..
She hugged him tightly……

 

 

 

 

Technical Difference between Welding and Wedding ..
In Welding there are Sparks first and Bonding Forever, whereas…
in Wedding there is Bonding first and Sparks Forever …

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
You can be sure of one thing;
Either the car is new or the wife.

 

 

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